I've been busy again. I'm crewing "Honk!" at SMT, the musical adaptation of the Ugly Duckling. It's a lot of fun to do - I get to hang out with a great group of people and because my responsibilities are a lot fewer than when stage managing, it isn't adding a lot of stress. We had our opening night on Friday and the show will run for just two more weekends.
It's a super cute show that both kids and adults can enjoy and a perfectly nice way to spend a couple of hours each day. Mostly I move a bridge, paint an egg, release the net that catches Ugly and throw a baseball to take the Cat out. The latter I actually rather suck at - my hand eye coordination is terrible and I don't have an excellent track record of actually hitting the damn cat. I could offer many excuses of bad angles and the actor moving, but the fact remains that I've never been good at hitting things with balls.
It's been nice to be able to get out of the house again, turn off my mom mode at the end of the day and just do some theatre. Joris has definitely arrived at the challenging part of being two. I was foolishly convinced for a while that he would just always remain the most perfectly well-behaved, awesome kid around. And really, of course he still is. Just with more whining and being remarkable contrary.
We have about 50 variations on the following conversation each day:
Joris: (Who was) that?
Me: That was (auntie Chris on the phone)
Joris: NO!
Then there is the deliberate not answering when asked a direct question. And the running away when shoes need to be put on or diapers changed. And the changes of mind every three seconds. And the general disagreeing with just about everything. There have seriously been days where we were unable to get out of the house because of the multitude of power struggles and I ended up just giving up.
I have found that my patience is far from infinite. Responses come out of my mouth that make me cringe as soon as I say them. It's hard to know what the correct way of handling this is - and even if I'd know, I might lack the patience and presence of mind not to react out of habit.
I'm pretty convinced that if it wasn't for the break that preschool is providing most days, I'd have torn my hair out by now.
But, amidst the incessant whining and insisting demands, Joris is a delightfully sweet and smart boy still, of course. He is getting so imaginative in his play - is not just reenacting situations anymore, but coming up with silly scenarios that haven't happened in real life. It's cute to see him make up these games with Avery and Isla and, even if they don't completely follow what it is he is trying to say or do, they'll follow him in his play.
He has also started to developed a real interest in music. It's his favorite part of the school week (they have a music 'class' each Wednesday) and, to the total and utter endearment of his mother, he is taking a liking to some musical theatre music. It started with Jacob singing him the Starlight Express song at bedtime - he then listened to the entire album and wanted to know what each train was singing about. His current favorite is Honk!. The first time we listened to it he sat on the couch through about half of the songs, asking questions about who was singing and what was happening in the story. Now, every chance he gets at home or in the car he will ask to listen to the Honk! cd and will actually properly identify "that's daddy duck singing" and "that's the cat's song", etc. each time. He is very concerned about Ugly's happiness since he sings a sad song and then his mother lost him and is looking for him. He is much relieved when "Ugly is happy and everyone is happy" at the end.
Love.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
friends
We were at the dentist the other day, where Joris waited very patiently for the dental assistant to finish scraping the layers of plaque off my teeth before it would be his turn. He was playing with some cars on the floor, being a surprisingly cooperative, charming version of himself when the dental assistant asked him, rather out of the blue, if he has a girlfriend. With that insinuating tone of voice that is just a heartbeat away from a chuckle. Joris looked up at her and told her yes, he has a girlfriend.
"What's her name?"
"Avery"
"Avery? Oh! Is she pretty?"
"Avery is my friend."
This conversation, or really, the question and insinuation, immediately made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and when I thought about it over the following few days, I realized why.
When I was little, my mom would arrange play dates for me with a small collection of similarly aged kids. I remember playing with a little boy called Gijs. We had similar temperaments and I liked playing at his house with him, his two sisters and his toy train. And one of my earliest memories is of that same insinuating tone of voice, used by my dad, when he'd question me about playing with Gijs. We were 4 or 5 years old. The words "boyfriend" and "being in love" were being thrown around. I remember the confusion about that tone of voice, wondering why us playing together was so funny to him.
From what I can gather, my dad, like probably most people of his generation, never did get raised with the proper skill set to express emotions and his way of dealing with, well, basically everything, has been with humor - or poking fun at things (Funnily enough, the last 10 - 15 years or so he has gotten much more comfortable with expressing emotions and I wonder if that just has to do with the fact that Americans wear their emotions on their sleeves compared to their Dutch counterparts or that he just finally feels confident enough to do so). Not that he meant badly, of course, but the message that I inevitably received was that playing with a boy is somehow shameful. The expectation being that if you were playing with someone of the opposite sex, you must be in love with them.
The same was true for my brother. He was friends with a pretty little girl called Vanessa and endured our dad's relentless teasing about his "girlfriend". The only difference being that Dirk-Jan agreed to and reinforced the idea that they were in love, whereas I would rather have been swallowed whole by a giant earthworm than repeating anything like that.
So I said I did not want to play with Gijs anymore. He ended up being a classmate all through elementary school and although I admired his ability to draw the most detailed pictures of ships from afar, we never did exchange more than a handful of words through those years. And I never had boys for friends again (unless associated through my brother) until well after high school.
I know most kids go through a boys/girls are yucky phase and it would have probably been unlikely to have nurtured a friendship with someone of the opposite sex through grade school, but I do feel like with all the shame (from home and from much of society - or at least ours - at large) heaped onto the idea, I have missed out on some good conversations, other perspectives and some much needed confidence around boys. I ended up having a couple of boyfriends who I was really only interested in as friends, but because of the expectation that boys are for dating, not for just hanging out with, I mistook my interest for love.
Over the last few years, from the safety of my marriage, I have finally found the confidence to successfully developed friendships with men; some as mutual friends of Jacob and I, and a few all on my own. And I enjoy the variety it brings to my circle of friends and the conversations and discussions that I have.
Joris has formed close friendships with both Avery and Isla and I hope he will always feel confident enough to nurture those friendships (and with other girls he enjoys playing with). Neither Jacob or I have ever mentioned anything about being in love, having a girlfriend or have used that mocking, insinuating tone of voice. I'm enjoying the fact that Joris talks about the girls and his classmates at school, as his friends and treats them as such. I also enjoy the fact that he prefers to eat his cereal out of the pink bowl. That he has no qualms about wearing a pink diaper with Dora the explorer on it. (One of my pet peeves is that EVERYTHING marketed for babies and kids is completely separated by gender; diapers have either cars or princesses, cups either feature pink flowers of sports playing dinosaurs and it is nearly impossible to find gender neutral tea sets or similar pretend play toys. And don't even get me started on the low-rise fit pants for toddler girls!)
All too soon he will have to start dealing with comments, insinuations and attitudes from the 'outside' world which, being as sensitive as he is, I have no doubt he will quickly pick up on, so I'm trying to enjoy this time where I can still mostly shield him and he can go on playing oblivious to what he is 'supposed to' like for a little while longer...
"What's her name?"
"Avery"
"Avery? Oh! Is she pretty?"
"Avery is my friend."
This conversation, or really, the question and insinuation, immediately made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and when I thought about it over the following few days, I realized why.
When I was little, my mom would arrange play dates for me with a small collection of similarly aged kids. I remember playing with a little boy called Gijs. We had similar temperaments and I liked playing at his house with him, his two sisters and his toy train. And one of my earliest memories is of that same insinuating tone of voice, used by my dad, when he'd question me about playing with Gijs. We were 4 or 5 years old. The words "boyfriend" and "being in love" were being thrown around. I remember the confusion about that tone of voice, wondering why us playing together was so funny to him.
From what I can gather, my dad, like probably most people of his generation, never did get raised with the proper skill set to express emotions and his way of dealing with, well, basically everything, has been with humor - or poking fun at things (Funnily enough, the last 10 - 15 years or so he has gotten much more comfortable with expressing emotions and I wonder if that just has to do with the fact that Americans wear their emotions on their sleeves compared to their Dutch counterparts or that he just finally feels confident enough to do so). Not that he meant badly, of course, but the message that I inevitably received was that playing with a boy is somehow shameful. The expectation being that if you were playing with someone of the opposite sex, you must be in love with them.
The same was true for my brother. He was friends with a pretty little girl called Vanessa and endured our dad's relentless teasing about his "girlfriend". The only difference being that Dirk-Jan agreed to and reinforced the idea that they were in love, whereas I would rather have been swallowed whole by a giant earthworm than repeating anything like that.
So I said I did not want to play with Gijs anymore. He ended up being a classmate all through elementary school and although I admired his ability to draw the most detailed pictures of ships from afar, we never did exchange more than a handful of words through those years. And I never had boys for friends again (unless associated through my brother) until well after high school.
I know most kids go through a boys/girls are yucky phase and it would have probably been unlikely to have nurtured a friendship with someone of the opposite sex through grade school, but I do feel like with all the shame (from home and from much of society - or at least ours - at large) heaped onto the idea, I have missed out on some good conversations, other perspectives and some much needed confidence around boys. I ended up having a couple of boyfriends who I was really only interested in as friends, but because of the expectation that boys are for dating, not for just hanging out with, I mistook my interest for love.
Over the last few years, from the safety of my marriage, I have finally found the confidence to successfully developed friendships with men; some as mutual friends of Jacob and I, and a few all on my own. And I enjoy the variety it brings to my circle of friends and the conversations and discussions that I have.
Joris has formed close friendships with both Avery and Isla and I hope he will always feel confident enough to nurture those friendships (and with other girls he enjoys playing with). Neither Jacob or I have ever mentioned anything about being in love, having a girlfriend or have used that mocking, insinuating tone of voice. I'm enjoying the fact that Joris talks about the girls and his classmates at school, as his friends and treats them as such. I also enjoy the fact that he prefers to eat his cereal out of the pink bowl. That he has no qualms about wearing a pink diaper with Dora the explorer on it. (One of my pet peeves is that EVERYTHING marketed for babies and kids is completely separated by gender; diapers have either cars or princesses, cups either feature pink flowers of sports playing dinosaurs and it is nearly impossible to find gender neutral tea sets or similar pretend play toys. And don't even get me started on the low-rise fit pants for toddler girls!)
All too soon he will have to start dealing with comments, insinuations and attitudes from the 'outside' world which, being as sensitive as he is, I have no doubt he will quickly pick up on, so I'm trying to enjoy this time where I can still mostly shield him and he can go on playing oblivious to what he is 'supposed to' like for a little while longer...
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Skipping off
Joris has been loving preschool. It took him a few days to get used to the routine, but he looks forward to it every day now and comes back bouncing with excitement to tell us about his day.
We feel very lucky to have found the Listen and Talk school. My friend Sue, who lives just a couple of blocks away, stumbled on it while walking her dog and forwarded me their information because she thought it might be a good fit for Joris. It's a preschool and pre-K program for kids with hearing loss. Most of the kids have either cochlear implants or hearing aids and the program is focused on helping them deal in a hearing world. So, as the name implies, the focus is on communication. The classes are blended (with a balance of hearing and hearing impaired kids) and can have a maximum of 6 kids - with two teachers in each class.
Joris' class has 5 kids and I believe a sixth one will be joining them in January. It is surprisingly diverse for a class of five kids in a North Seattle school; there are two Latino kids, an African American boy and two caucasian kids. His teachers, Betsy and Carlita, are absolutely wonderful and each day they send the kids home with a picture page which shows what they have been up to during the afternoon. We put the pages in a binder and Joris loves showing it off to anyone who comes to visit.
School is four days a week, Monday through Thursday, from 12:45 - 3:15pm, which means that on most of those days Joris doesn't nap anymore. It's been working out better than expected. He usually goes off to bed early (7:00pm) on school days and will sleep for about 12 hours. Then on the days that he doesn't have school he still takes a nap and seems to kind of tank up for the following week. Every now and then he gets too tired and will take a little nap after school, but more often than not that means that he'll wake up disoriented and cranky.
They get a weekly music class (which is Joris' favorite activity) as well as a weekly alternating art and movement class from specialized teachers. Joris seems to thrive on the routine and his favorite part of the day is circle time, in which they all participate and have specific assigned, weekly rotating jobs. They refer to the other kids as each others friends and they really seem to function as such.
I really can't say enough good things about this program. I love how Joris will come home singing parts of songs I would have never taught him and how he will offer me whatever he is playing with or eating, proudly proclaiming "I'm sharing!". I love how concerned he is when one of his friends wasn't at school that day. And I love how it has helped him gain confidence already; when it is time to say goodbye I give him a wave and a kiss and he happily goes skipping off.
For my friends who are still looking for preschool options, check it out - they have openings throughout the year, are totally affordable and don't require kids to be potty trained! www.listentalk.org
We feel very lucky to have found the Listen and Talk school. My friend Sue, who lives just a couple of blocks away, stumbled on it while walking her dog and forwarded me their information because she thought it might be a good fit for Joris. It's a preschool and pre-K program for kids with hearing loss. Most of the kids have either cochlear implants or hearing aids and the program is focused on helping them deal in a hearing world. So, as the name implies, the focus is on communication. The classes are blended (with a balance of hearing and hearing impaired kids) and can have a maximum of 6 kids - with two teachers in each class.
Joris' class has 5 kids and I believe a sixth one will be joining them in January. It is surprisingly diverse for a class of five kids in a North Seattle school; there are two Latino kids, an African American boy and two caucasian kids. His teachers, Betsy and Carlita, are absolutely wonderful and each day they send the kids home with a picture page which shows what they have been up to during the afternoon. We put the pages in a binder and Joris loves showing it off to anyone who comes to visit.
School is four days a week, Monday through Thursday, from 12:45 - 3:15pm, which means that on most of those days Joris doesn't nap anymore. It's been working out better than expected. He usually goes off to bed early (7:00pm) on school days and will sleep for about 12 hours. Then on the days that he doesn't have school he still takes a nap and seems to kind of tank up for the following week. Every now and then he gets too tired and will take a little nap after school, but more often than not that means that he'll wake up disoriented and cranky.
They get a weekly music class (which is Joris' favorite activity) as well as a weekly alternating art and movement class from specialized teachers. Joris seems to thrive on the routine and his favorite part of the day is circle time, in which they all participate and have specific assigned, weekly rotating jobs. They refer to the other kids as each others friends and they really seem to function as such.
I really can't say enough good things about this program. I love how Joris will come home singing parts of songs I would have never taught him and how he will offer me whatever he is playing with or eating, proudly proclaiming "I'm sharing!". I love how concerned he is when one of his friends wasn't at school that day. And I love how it has helped him gain confidence already; when it is time to say goodbye I give him a wave and a kiss and he happily goes skipping off.
For my friends who are still looking for preschool options, check it out - they have openings throughout the year, are totally affordable and don't require kids to be potty trained! www.listentalk.org
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Moping about
It's hard to know where to start this update. I feel like so much has happened, so much is different and yet I'm not sure if I can put it completely into words.
I'm at the end of my first weekend without doing the show. No rehearsals, no frantic paperwork upkeep and no show to call or fret over. It's nice in that I feel like I'm finally catching up on some sleep and I have been able to take my time cooking and eating and seeing Jacob for more than, say, 15 minutes at a time...
But, I have been in a bit of a funk as well - undoubtedly partly due to the fact that I'm not checking in with the actors, trying to get my cues right and somewhat nervously anticipating the next technical melt-down. Maybe I'm missing the excitement of the unknown; will an actor pull something crazy? Will the light board spazz out again? Will the audience actually laugh in all the right places? Or maybe I'm just missing the camaraderie that the stress of pulling off a show often brings to a cast and crew.
I have really enjoyed feeling in my element throughout the rehearsals and the run of The Producers. It was great to be back doing something I love and am reasonably adept at, and the feeling of accomplishment that it brings. Not that being a mom isn't a great(er) accomplishment, but it's harder to look back at a day where all you have is a stack of dirty diapers, a sink full of dishes and the knowledge that you and the kid made it through another day to show for it. In theatre there is instant gratification; the audience's applause, the actor's excitement, the instant high when a series of cues is executed perfectly...
And yes, I'll be honest - I love the recognition I get for doing it. Hearing that I'm great to work with, being thanked for solving a conflict. And also, being listened to was a nice change of pace...
Joris is the greatest little guy in the universe, but he is going through the usual protesting-at-everything-and-doing-the-exact-opposite phase. And it's hard enough to deal with when it's just him (he actually responds remarkably well to both reasoning and threats - of the "if you don't cooperate we won't be able to go to ____" variety) but when he's with Avery or Isla and gets them on board with the mutineering I am often tempted to just sit in the middle of the room to make sure they're safe but otherwise just letting them do whatever it is they want to do do 'cause hot damn, I just don't want to argue, referee, threat, plead and cajole anymore.
It is really quite disheartening to have #1 pull off the socks and shoes you just wrestled on while you are trying to get the same accomplished for #2. All because you want to get out the door to go to the goddamn playground - as a favor to the little hobbits who are now screaming "no, no, NO! Run away!" and then promptly run into another room.
Contrast this to me telling the actors that it's time to take their places. This announcement is followed by a chorus of "thank you, places!" and then... lo and behold... they get to their places. By themselves. And put their own shoes on!
So, I guess I miss my power. And I miss working with creative, smart, egomaniac lunatics. Or, at least, the adult conversation that it brings about. 'Cause what childcare and script writing don't provide is a merry band of colleagues to share your experiences with.
Anyway. I'm thinking about the future. What I want to do. What I can do. And how to combine the wanting to with reality.
I'm at the end of my first weekend without doing the show. No rehearsals, no frantic paperwork upkeep and no show to call or fret over. It's nice in that I feel like I'm finally catching up on some sleep and I have been able to take my time cooking and eating and seeing Jacob for more than, say, 15 minutes at a time...
But, I have been in a bit of a funk as well - undoubtedly partly due to the fact that I'm not checking in with the actors, trying to get my cues right and somewhat nervously anticipating the next technical melt-down. Maybe I'm missing the excitement of the unknown; will an actor pull something crazy? Will the light board spazz out again? Will the audience actually laugh in all the right places? Or maybe I'm just missing the camaraderie that the stress of pulling off a show often brings to a cast and crew.
I have really enjoyed feeling in my element throughout the rehearsals and the run of The Producers. It was great to be back doing something I love and am reasonably adept at, and the feeling of accomplishment that it brings. Not that being a mom isn't a great(er) accomplishment, but it's harder to look back at a day where all you have is a stack of dirty diapers, a sink full of dishes and the knowledge that you and the kid made it through another day to show for it. In theatre there is instant gratification; the audience's applause, the actor's excitement, the instant high when a series of cues is executed perfectly...
And yes, I'll be honest - I love the recognition I get for doing it. Hearing that I'm great to work with, being thanked for solving a conflict. And also, being listened to was a nice change of pace...
Joris is the greatest little guy in the universe, but he is going through the usual protesting-at-everything-and-doing-the-exact-opposite phase. And it's hard enough to deal with when it's just him (he actually responds remarkably well to both reasoning and threats - of the "if you don't cooperate we won't be able to go to ____" variety) but when he's with Avery or Isla and gets them on board with the mutineering I am often tempted to just sit in the middle of the room to make sure they're safe but otherwise just letting them do whatever it is they want to do do 'cause hot damn, I just don't want to argue, referee, threat, plead and cajole anymore.
It is really quite disheartening to have #1 pull off the socks and shoes you just wrestled on while you are trying to get the same accomplished for #2. All because you want to get out the door to go to the goddamn playground - as a favor to the little hobbits who are now screaming "no, no, NO! Run away!" and then promptly run into another room.
Contrast this to me telling the actors that it's time to take their places. This announcement is followed by a chorus of "thank you, places!" and then... lo and behold... they get to their places. By themselves. And put their own shoes on!
So, I guess I miss my power. And I miss working with creative, smart, egomaniac lunatics. Or, at least, the adult conversation that it brings about. 'Cause what childcare and script writing don't provide is a merry band of colleagues to share your experiences with.
Anyway. I'm thinking about the future. What I want to do. What I can do. And how to combine the wanting to with reality.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Busy times
I've been pretty busy lately. I've been at rehearsals for The Producers almost every night and full days on Saturdays and we have just switched to a 6 day a week schedule. This in addition to taking care of two kids four days a week and trying to find time to fit the occasional script writing assignment in. And trying to make sure we all eat reasonably healthy meals, have clean clothes to wear and don't have to wade through too much filth at home. Fortunately, Jacob has been a great help with pretty much everything.
Stage managing has been a lot of fun, although I realize it's a lot harder to do when it's one of several jobs. There is a lot of paperwork involved and I'm just not able to find enough time to really delve into as deeply as I want to and probably should. But, we have a great cast and the show is so damn funny that it's impossible not to laugh out loud. And it feels good to be doing something I know I can do and enjoy doing.
Last weekend, Jacob took Joris on the train for a visit to Portland. We had tried to prepare him for the fact that I would not be coming with them and apparently had done that so well that Joris barely blinked at my departure from the train station. In fact, he was so distracted by the trains and the excitement of it all that he could have really cared less. It sounds like they had a really nice visit, although sleeping was a bit a bit of an issue since Joris preferred to sleep in the big bed with Jacob instead of on a mattress on the floor, so especially the latter did not get much rest.
I enjoyed some quality alone time when they were gone - for the first time in I don't even know how long. I just know it hasn't happened since Joris was born and I know I was never really alone during our time in the Marshall Islands... In any case, it was glorious and only occasionally a little bit lonely. Don't get me wrong, I was happy to see them both again when I picked them up on Saturday, but having the freedom to really decide what it was I wanted to do was a wonderful change of pace!
I had a mentoring event on Thursday night and was able to join our friend Richard and some fellow mentors for a drink afterwards without having to worry about what time to be home or being woken up at 6:30am by a chipper toddler, ready for a day of playing. We hung out at Richard's apartment for a while, too - talking and watching tv shows and I realized that was something that hasn't happened for a long time either, at least not without it involving bringing a pack and play. It was nice.
On Friday I got to sleep in and my one activity of the day was meeting up with Christine for happy hour at Stanford's. It also involved watching an embarrassing amount of West Wing episodes and going to bed early. That was all the alone time I really had since I had rehearsals all day on Saturday and picked the boys back up right after that. But, I am proud of myself for doing practically no cleaning.
Joris has hit the language development stage where he is practically spewing a continuous stream of consciousness; narrating events, making up stories, ordering me around and questioning (what's that? why you do that, mama?) all day long. It's rather exhausting, but also very cute. And it's amazing (and occasionally embarrassing) to hear the things coming out of his mouth.
A few favorites:
"Move it, lady!" (when stopped in the car)
"Oh my goodness. That too much." (when looking at tags on clothing in a store)
"Mama, that guy bloot (naked)" (when seeing someone without a shirt on. It's times like that I am so grateful for his bilingualism!)
Things that Joris enjoys doing these days:
- stamping and coloring
- stating "I do it myself" at every possible moment. Preferably in stereo with Avery or Isla.
- memorizing countries on the map. I think he knows about 20-25 now, including exciting toddler facts like "lemurs live in Madagascar" and "tigers live in India".
- pointing out letters on signs and elsewhere in everyday life. He will often make up the meaning of them "that says oatmeal squares are yummy" or "MWCF - that spells daaaaddy!". He also insists on spelling out every single stop sign we pass "that sign says stop. s.t.o.p.".
- giving Jacob a rough time at bedtime by crying, screaming, asking for water, more songs and otherwise not laying down and going to sleep.
- pointing out every Honda on the road and in the parking lot.
- not saying the "s" at the beginning of most words that need one. He usually replaces it with a "t" sound, so take=snake, towman=snowman and I teamed means "I screamed".
- trying to figure out numbers. He still gets about 70% or more wrong most of the time, but does have a good grasp on number 1, 2 and number towman (8).
- doing the exact opposite of what he's being asked to do. Yes, fun and from what I understand, unavoidable.
- still mostly operating in English, although he is slowly re-incorporating more Dutch with me again.
- reading stories to Avery from books that he knows very well. The cute thing is that Avery is totally into it to saying "read this one, Joris!" and then him reciting what fragments (or occasionally complete text) of the story he remembers.
It's been a year now that I've been keeping this blog and being able to read back about what Joris was into this time last year is enjoyable. (For example, it's so hard to imagine he had barely spoken a handful of words at this point last year and now he's all mr. chatterbox. I would have never predicted that!) I'm glad I have this to look back on.
Stage managing has been a lot of fun, although I realize it's a lot harder to do when it's one of several jobs. There is a lot of paperwork involved and I'm just not able to find enough time to really delve into as deeply as I want to and probably should. But, we have a great cast and the show is so damn funny that it's impossible not to laugh out loud. And it feels good to be doing something I know I can do and enjoy doing.
Last weekend, Jacob took Joris on the train for a visit to Portland. We had tried to prepare him for the fact that I would not be coming with them and apparently had done that so well that Joris barely blinked at my departure from the train station. In fact, he was so distracted by the trains and the excitement of it all that he could have really cared less. It sounds like they had a really nice visit, although sleeping was a bit a bit of an issue since Joris preferred to sleep in the big bed with Jacob instead of on a mattress on the floor, so especially the latter did not get much rest.
I enjoyed some quality alone time when they were gone - for the first time in I don't even know how long. I just know it hasn't happened since Joris was born and I know I was never really alone during our time in the Marshall Islands... In any case, it was glorious and only occasionally a little bit lonely. Don't get me wrong, I was happy to see them both again when I picked them up on Saturday, but having the freedom to really decide what it was I wanted to do was a wonderful change of pace!
I had a mentoring event on Thursday night and was able to join our friend Richard and some fellow mentors for a drink afterwards without having to worry about what time to be home or being woken up at 6:30am by a chipper toddler, ready for a day of playing. We hung out at Richard's apartment for a while, too - talking and watching tv shows and I realized that was something that hasn't happened for a long time either, at least not without it involving bringing a pack and play. It was nice.
On Friday I got to sleep in and my one activity of the day was meeting up with Christine for happy hour at Stanford's. It also involved watching an embarrassing amount of West Wing episodes and going to bed early. That was all the alone time I really had since I had rehearsals all day on Saturday and picked the boys back up right after that. But, I am proud of myself for doing practically no cleaning.
Joris has hit the language development stage where he is practically spewing a continuous stream of consciousness; narrating events, making up stories, ordering me around and questioning (what's that? why you do that, mama?) all day long. It's rather exhausting, but also very cute. And it's amazing (and occasionally embarrassing) to hear the things coming out of his mouth.
A few favorites:
"Move it, lady!" (when stopped in the car)
"Oh my goodness. That too much." (when looking at tags on clothing in a store)
"Mama, that guy bloot (naked)" (when seeing someone without a shirt on. It's times like that I am so grateful for his bilingualism!)
Things that Joris enjoys doing these days:
- stamping and coloring
- stating "I do it myself" at every possible moment. Preferably in stereo with Avery or Isla.
- memorizing countries on the map. I think he knows about 20-25 now, including exciting toddler facts like "lemurs live in Madagascar" and "tigers live in India".
- pointing out letters on signs and elsewhere in everyday life. He will often make up the meaning of them "that says oatmeal squares are yummy" or "MWCF - that spells daaaaddy!". He also insists on spelling out every single stop sign we pass "that sign says stop. s.t.o.p.".
- giving Jacob a rough time at bedtime by crying, screaming, asking for water, more songs and otherwise not laying down and going to sleep.
- pointing out every Honda on the road and in the parking lot.
- not saying the "s" at the beginning of most words that need one. He usually replaces it with a "t" sound, so take=snake, towman=snowman and I teamed means "I screamed".
- trying to figure out numbers. He still gets about 70% or more wrong most of the time, but does have a good grasp on number 1, 2 and number towman (8).
- doing the exact opposite of what he's being asked to do. Yes, fun and from what I understand, unavoidable.
- still mostly operating in English, although he is slowly re-incorporating more Dutch with me again.
- reading stories to Avery from books that he knows very well. The cute thing is that Avery is totally into it to saying "read this one, Joris!" and then him reciting what fragments (or occasionally complete text) of the story he remembers.
It's been a year now that I've been keeping this blog and being able to read back about what Joris was into this time last year is enjoyable. (For example, it's so hard to imagine he had barely spoken a handful of words at this point last year and now he's all mr. chatterbox. I would have never predicted that!) I'm glad I have this to look back on.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Big Boy Bed
Joris moved into a big boy bed last weekend. We hadn't really anticipated this to happen for a little while still, but it turned out that he was more than ready.
Joris had been starting to make attempts to climb out of his crib and although he never did see it through, I had started to troll Craigslist for a twin bed to have on hand for when that day would suddenly arrive. I was pretty particular in what I wanted for his room; something with storage underneath the bed, featuring both a head board and a foot board and no particle board, if at all possible. Turns out wood, twin captain's beds are rather expensive and contemporary or classic styles (read: not the crappy '70s rounded oak varieties) are hard to find.
One day, I had a few pictures up on the computer and Joris came over to look at them. I told him they were pictures of big boy beds and that we were looking for a new, big bed for him for when he would be too big for his crib.
Since that day, at nap time and bed time he'd ask "Where's my big bed?".
I found a listing for a bed that was just what we'd been looking for, for a reasonable price and the people selling it were willing to deliver it.
Joris was so excited and watched Jacob put it together and could hardly wait until I got home with the mattress and sheets. According to Jacob, the only moment of concern was when he asked "My animals, daddy, my animals!" and Jacob quickly reassured him that his animals would move into his big bed with him. In fact, many more animals have joined the pack since the bed is so much bigger.
It's funny to see his little body in that big bed. The transition has been a complete non-issue. He has not been scared and even still stays in his bed (although he knows how to get in and out by himself) after lights out and even waits for us to come get him after he wakes up.
He did fall out three times. We debated getting a little gate to keep him from doing so, but in the end just put a mattress on the floor with the idea that he'll eventually learn / get used to not falling out. Stellar parenting, right? It does seem to have worked though - no falling incidents in the last few days at all!
Joris had been starting to make attempts to climb out of his crib and although he never did see it through, I had started to troll Craigslist for a twin bed to have on hand for when that day would suddenly arrive. I was pretty particular in what I wanted for his room; something with storage underneath the bed, featuring both a head board and a foot board and no particle board, if at all possible. Turns out wood, twin captain's beds are rather expensive and contemporary or classic styles (read: not the crappy '70s rounded oak varieties) are hard to find.
One day, I had a few pictures up on the computer and Joris came over to look at them. I told him they were pictures of big boy beds and that we were looking for a new, big bed for him for when he would be too big for his crib.
Since that day, at nap time and bed time he'd ask "Where's my big bed?".
I found a listing for a bed that was just what we'd been looking for, for a reasonable price and the people selling it were willing to deliver it.
Joris was so excited and watched Jacob put it together and could hardly wait until I got home with the mattress and sheets. According to Jacob, the only moment of concern was when he asked "My animals, daddy, my animals!" and Jacob quickly reassured him that his animals would move into his big bed with him. In fact, many more animals have joined the pack since the bed is so much bigger.
It's funny to see his little body in that big bed. The transition has been a complete non-issue. He has not been scared and even still stays in his bed (although he knows how to get in and out by himself) after lights out and even waits for us to come get him after he wakes up.
He did fall out three times. We debated getting a little gate to keep him from doing so, but in the end just put a mattress on the floor with the idea that he'll eventually learn / get used to not falling out. Stellar parenting, right? It does seem to have worked though - no falling incidents in the last few days at all!
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Family fun
The biggest event of our summer was having Jacob's sister, Micol and her family come visit the family on the West Coast. They live in Virginia so we get to see them sporadically at best. The last time we'd seen them was in 2007, when Joris was three months old and we had extended our layover in Washington to be able to hang out in Richmond for a few days.
Obviously, Joris did not remember his cousins Adriana (8) and Sage (5), but did know them from pictures and he seemed excited about having them come over.
Micol and the girls came right in the week of the hottest temperatures ever recorded in Seattle, so a lot of our activities were mere attempts to stay cool.
We took them to Matthews Beach the first day they were and town and had a little barbecue in the backyard. On Wednesday we all took the ferry from Edmonds to Kingston. It was the day where the temperatures hit 103 degrees and being able to be on the water, enjoying the breeze - yes, even getting just a tad bit chilly - was wonderful.
We indulged in crepes for lunch at 11:00am before heading back on the ferry.
Really, water was the only way to make it through the heat so there was a lot of kiddie pool action.
Joris, like most people in Seattle in this unusual weather, was having a really hard time getting and staying asleep and we were all stoked to make it down to Portland on Thursday where we'd stay at my folks' air-conditioned house.
We stayed through the weekend and ended up being able to do a lot of fun things. We enjoyed a nice family dinner with my parents, brother and soon to be sister in law on Thursday night. Friday, I had lunch at AngelVision (the company I do the script writing for) and was able to finally meet everyone, which was nice. When I got back to Sellwood, where Jacob and Joris were hanging out with the grandparents and Micol and the girls, I was just in time to join them for an outing to the outdoor pool.
The pool has a shallow end and lots of sprayers, bubblers and, because it was so hot, it was packed with people. Joris was hesitant of the water for about 2 minutes and then he donned a wide grin and proceeded to pretty much lose all language capacity - reverting to pre-verbal "huuuhhhh-huhhhhhh!!!" noises for the entire time we were there. I seriously have not seen him that excited about anything since the discovery that cheese tastes really great.
On Saturday, we went to the Gresham farmers market and had lunch with Dirk and Melanie before joining the Hutchison side of the family for a get together at Jacob's brother Trinh's house. I think everyone was excited to get the five cousins together for the first time and it was so fun to see how they all interacted. The cousins (all girls) are a fair bit older than Joris (10, 8, 6 and 5) but they immediately made sure he was included in the kid club and Joris loved following them around and having a picnic together. Seriously, it is just impossible to describe how cute they all were.
Ever since Adriana read one of his favorite stories to Joris, (which made him look up to her with such awe and giddy excitement) he would ask "where's Adriana?" each time he'd lose track of her. It was sad to have to say goodbye when it was time for us to go, because we all had really enjoyed seeing each other.
On Sunday, Joris enjoyed washing the car before we took off to meet up with my mom's family at a state park in Battleground, WA. There a great river to play and splash in and, as always when there is water and rocks involved, Joris had a great time. We couldn't stay too long because we still had to make our way back to Seattle, which ended up taking forever - without a nap ever happening for Joris.
Curious George on the ipod saved the day when stuck in traffic!
Obviously, Joris did not remember his cousins Adriana (8) and Sage (5), but did know them from pictures and he seemed excited about having them come over.
Micol and the girls came right in the week of the hottest temperatures ever recorded in Seattle, so a lot of our activities were mere attempts to stay cool.
We took them to Matthews Beach the first day they were and town and had a little barbecue in the backyard. On Wednesday we all took the ferry from Edmonds to Kingston. It was the day where the temperatures hit 103 degrees and being able to be on the water, enjoying the breeze - yes, even getting just a tad bit chilly - was wonderful.
We indulged in crepes for lunch at 11:00am before heading back on the ferry.
Really, water was the only way to make it through the heat so there was a lot of kiddie pool action.
Joris, like most people in Seattle in this unusual weather, was having a really hard time getting and staying asleep and we were all stoked to make it down to Portland on Thursday where we'd stay at my folks' air-conditioned house.
We stayed through the weekend and ended up being able to do a lot of fun things. We enjoyed a nice family dinner with my parents, brother and soon to be sister in law on Thursday night. Friday, I had lunch at AngelVision (the company I do the script writing for) and was able to finally meet everyone, which was nice. When I got back to Sellwood, where Jacob and Joris were hanging out with the grandparents and Micol and the girls, I was just in time to join them for an outing to the outdoor pool.
The pool has a shallow end and lots of sprayers, bubblers and, because it was so hot, it was packed with people. Joris was hesitant of the water for about 2 minutes and then he donned a wide grin and proceeded to pretty much lose all language capacity - reverting to pre-verbal "huuuhhhh-huhhhhhh!!!" noises for the entire time we were there. I seriously have not seen him that excited about anything since the discovery that cheese tastes really great.
On Saturday, we went to the Gresham farmers market and had lunch with Dirk and Melanie before joining the Hutchison side of the family for a get together at Jacob's brother Trinh's house. I think everyone was excited to get the five cousins together for the first time and it was so fun to see how they all interacted. The cousins (all girls) are a fair bit older than Joris (10, 8, 6 and 5) but they immediately made sure he was included in the kid club and Joris loved following them around and having a picnic together. Seriously, it is just impossible to describe how cute they all were.
Ever since Adriana read one of his favorite stories to Joris, (which made him look up to her with such awe and giddy excitement) he would ask "where's Adriana?" each time he'd lose track of her. It was sad to have to say goodbye when it was time for us to go, because we all had really enjoyed seeing each other.
On Sunday, Joris enjoyed washing the car before we took off to meet up with my mom's family at a state park in Battleground, WA. There a great river to play and splash in and, as always when there is water and rocks involved, Joris had a great time. We couldn't stay too long because we still had to make our way back to Seattle, which ended up taking forever - without a nap ever happening for Joris.
Curious George on the ipod saved the day when stuck in traffic!
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